How should people talk to God? Is there a right way to pray?

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Question : How should people talk to God? Is there a right way to pray?

Answer:  Talking to God, praying silently or out loud, is how our friendship with Him grows stronger.  That’s extremely important, because He wants a relationship, a friendship, more than anything else from you!  It’s not about your money or your time serving others, but your fellowship with Him.  Praying is not only asking for His help, but also thanking Him for what he has already done. He helps believers all day, every day! 

“…be thankful to Him and bless His Name…”  Psalm 100:4

Would you believe that fear of prayer, being asked publicly to pray at church or gatherings, keeps some people from being there?  I know it happens because that’s how I once felt.  My friends told me they had the same fear.  I used to avoid Sunday school or small Bible study groups for that reason – I was embarrassed that I wouldn’t have the right words to pray.  Have you ever worried about this, too? 

As I grew to understand God more, I learned that having what we perceive as the “right words” wasn’t important to God.  I read in the Bible that Jesus addressed the subject of prayer numerous times.  He explained that people should never pray with the intention of impressing God or other people by using particular words or phrases.  Jesus drew intense anger from the religious establishment of His day because He strongly criticized the leaders of the synagogue for their insincere, public prayers.  He said they were missing the entire point of praying:

“And when you pray, do not use vain, useless repetitions as the heathen do. For they think that they will be heard for their many words. Therefore, do not be like them. For you Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him…”  Matthew 6:7-8

Jesus continues in that chapter of Matthew, giving His disciples a timeless example of how to talk to God. We know those verses as “The Lord’s Prayer”. ( Matthew 6:9-13 ) There are many studies available which detail those lines and explain them well.  In today’s language, that prayer may sound quite formal.  We are not expected to recite the prayer, word for word!  The prayer is just an outline of thanksgiving and needs sharing we can certainly use in our conversations with our heavenly Father.  When we pray, we are simply talking to God, with our words or silently with our hearts.  He is our friend who wants to hear about our day, our concerns, and our questions (even though He already knows!). He is quite creative in answering, too!  Reading the Bible daily is a helpful way of keeping the channel open for dialogue with Him as He guides your thoughts and answers your questions by showing you the solutions in those pages.

There are times when we are so upset or afraid that we want to pray but just don’t seem to be able to.  This happens often during a time of grief.  God anticipated that, of course, and supplies us with His own Spirit, His Holy Spirit, which prays for us and through us. 

“And in the same way, the Spirit helps us during our weak times, when we don’t know what we ought to pray for, but this Spirit Himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.  And He who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purposes.”  Romans 8:26-28

Try it! Talk daily with this life-long friend who you can always trust.  When you are accustomed to talking with Him in private, you will be more relaxed to pray in the presence of others, who will benefit from your examples of conversing with and trusting God.  Sometimes, God answers in AMAZING and UNEXPECTED ways!

“Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him belongs the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.”   Ephesians 3:20

You can talk or pray right now! Include your gratitude for what He has done, as well as your concerns, requests, and questions.

Here’s one example, and you can and should, of course, customize this to fit your life situation. Just talk with Him. He is listening 24 hours a day, 7 days a week:

God, you have been so kind and loving to me during the years of my life, and I haven’t always realized it and acknowledged it.  You are such a great God, and I am so happy you love me and care about me.  I am amazed that you sent your Son, Jesus, into the world to save me. Thank you so very much!  I am sorry for my mistakes and bad choices and want to turn my life in a new direction.  I have already tried and failed.  I can’t do this by myself.  Please send your Holy Spirit to guide me and protect me each day. I want to make better decisions and learn to have a humble mindset so you will be proud of me. But, I understand, that you accept me even before I clean up my life.  I know it will take a lifetime to help me become the person you want me to be, but I want to try my best every day to allow you to transform me.  I don’t understand why certain things happen to me, but I know you are in control of everything and have a plan for my life that is not always easy. I trust you. Come and live in me, God, Jesus, Holy Spirit! Amen.

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Answer: We can only control what we ourselves talk about and post publicly, such as on social media. Even where hostility already is expressed, we can set the better tone, or a good example of respectful, fair, and kind dialogue. Remember what parents have repeated to their children for generations - If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. God inspired more about this to be recorded in His scriptures. Not only does He mean for us not to hurt others with our words but to select them to encourage and grow others to understand His great love for them! “A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.” Proverbs 15:4 “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Proverbs 12:18 Most important of all is whether our words – which spring from deep in our souls – are pleasing to God. Regardless of the public image we would like for others to see, Jesus said that words reveal a great deal about our true thoughts and how we live whenever we open our mouths to speak: “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” Matthew 12:34, Luke 6:45 “…the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these things defile a man…out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander.” Matthew 15:19 Next, what is important to God is the way we treat others. When people know we are Christians, will they be drawn to God and His love we share among ourselves, or will they be repelled by our insincerity? We are His ambassadors and represent Him to a dying world. Tragically, a person’s bad impression of hypocritical followers of Jesus may never be undone, which means the heart of an observer may become hardened to the truths about God so that he or she misses out on salvation. What a sobering responsibility we have! “If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.” James 1:26 If we lose our honorable reputation, we lose a great deal – in our church, community, and family! Trust collapses and doors close. If we respond badly in anger and malice, no one will take our claims of faith in God seriously anymore. The Bible states that having “ a good name ” should be more desirable than monetary riches. (Proverbs 22:1) When people can see that we act on what we say we believe, then they trust us and are willing to open their own hearts and minds to hear the message of Jesus Christ. When Jesus was asked what was the most important commandment, He responded to love God with all our hearts, souls, and minds, and to love our neighbors as much as we love ourselves. (Matthew 22:35-40, Mark 12:28-34, Luke 10:27) Our speech demonstrates love for God and others, or, sadly, a lack of it. “…neither filthiness, not foolish talking, not coarse joking, which are not appropriate, but rather giving thanks.” Ephesians 5:4 “Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit.” I Peter 3:10 “But now you yourselves are to put off all these: anger, wrath, hate, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth.” Colossians 3:8 The scriptures have much more to advise as warnings about the influence of our words in the lives of people around us. With our comments, we can make or break others. That’s a lot of power. We can build peace, or we can set the world on fire! When we start a fire, we often suffer along with our victims. Have you ever hurt someone deeply with a criticism or opinion? That person may always suffer from that painful, unhealed wound. “Likewise, the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small spark. The tongue is also a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. All kinds of animals have been tamed by mankind, but no human can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. My brothers and sisters, this should not be so.“ James 3:5-10 “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” Proverbs 18:21 God has given us life to serve Him and use our mouths to help one another by building up others – not by tearing them down. Each day, be sure to offer a good word to cheer someone’s heart, and watch and see how God blesses your life immensely, too! When we show love, people experience what God’s love feel like, possibly for the first time. “Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad.” Proverbs 12:25 “Let no corrupt word come out of your mouth, but what s good for necessary encouragement, that it may give favor to the hearers.” Ephesians 4:29 “Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” Proverbs 16:24 “Let your conversations be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” Colossians 4:6 Has God’s Holy Spirit brought forward thoughts of someone you have hurt with your words? Here’s a good place to start in making this right: Lord, thank you for bringing this broken relationship to my mind. You know who I need to apologize to and how I might better rebuild that relationship. Please help me to do this in your perfect timing and with a very humble heart. Would you prepare that person’s heart to hear my words and heal our relationship? Please transform me and rid me of my tendency to be speak hastily and harshly. I look to you for guidance, dear Father in heaven. Thank you!  “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer.” Psalm 19:14
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